Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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