last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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