sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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