super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
