it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
