My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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