I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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