ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
