his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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