But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
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