dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
