what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
