Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
