yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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