If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
false alarm, still single
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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