Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
