ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
