i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
