Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
