Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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