He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
