Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
