Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
