My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Randomize
