okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
