Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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