Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
