So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
