3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
