can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you inspire me to be a worse person
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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