i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
