he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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