Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
