There is no way he is gay with that hair.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
