How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
