I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
