how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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