so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
