TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
