u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
