I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
