I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
