Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
