I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
