fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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