I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
