Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
