Kiss
Puke
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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