I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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