good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
