Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize