I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Alive.
So much puke
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
