idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
