The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
