She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
