Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
