these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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