i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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