Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
