I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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