Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
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