this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
